Building self-worth is a cornerstone of my therapy. All core issues related to identity can be narrowed down to low self-worth and heightened shame. I help clients realize that who they are at their core is profoundly enough, and any attempt to change that is a deep misunderstanding of what it means to be in relationship to oneself and others. This means confronting feelings of shame about oneself and finding acceptance in whatever person you feel most authentically represents your true nature. 

I have found that one of the most common concerns for people seeking therapy is related to fear of being judged for having thoughts and/or emotions they fear are socially unacceptable. You may have even felt judged by a previous therapist. My mantra in life is you do not directly choose any thoughts you have, so as a consequence judging them would be utterly unfair. There is no capacity to investigate the nature of your thoughts as long as you are judging them, and therefore no capacity to grow either. I truly welcome any and all perspectives/beliefs/political ideologies/religious affiliations, my only requirement is an open curiosity regarding your emotional experience and a willingness to investigate how one’s beliefs are shaped. I also recognize that just because I am saying to you “I won’t judge you,” it does not guarantee that will not happen. Allow me to demonstrate that over time in the only way I know how: by my actions. 

 I approach shame and self-worth issues by first understanding the silent yet pervasive beliefs that govern people’s lives and inhibit their happiness. This often involves understanding one’s attachment style and the role it plays in how you view the world and other people. Ultimately, growth can only come from the outside-in, meaning if you want to improve your self-worth you have to start behaving like someone who values themselves. That means expressing frustration when someone hurts you, saying no when a boundary is crossed, and sharing your innermost feelings with people you trust. In a word, if shame is the problem, vulnerability is the solution.